I could have mohawked her pubes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
