you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
