I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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