yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
