fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
