His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
