I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I am never drinking with the goths again.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
