its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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