i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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