just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
