I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize