You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Can you bring me the toilet please
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
