when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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