it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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