Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
