Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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