Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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