Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
