in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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