Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
