im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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