he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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