super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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