like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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