Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
