I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
