Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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