Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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