Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
