She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
