Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
