bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
bring money and cleavage
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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