Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
