return my video game
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
