Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I puked a lego.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
