now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
