Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
