For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
