Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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