What a fucking waste of an outfit
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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