Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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