READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
