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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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