just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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