The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
