Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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