they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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