Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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