If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My life is pants optional.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
