omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
