so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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