he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So much rum. So many feels.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
