just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
