Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
