I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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